Reflections on Leadership

My Thoughts on the Eve of Your First Management Position

Picture from a time when I wasn’t afraid to get on a horse. Five years ago, while on a team building event (which, to be clear, I organized), I fell off a horse and broke my back. My leadership journey has been full of times when I fell off the proverbial horse, and like the saying, I’ve dusted myself off and gotten back on. Photo courtesy of my mother.

Dear Former Team Member Whom I Would Now Call a Friend,

Let me start by saying that people will surprise you. The fact that you call me an inspirational leader surprises me. This is, in part, because I feel like I failed a lot as a leader while you were working for me.

I did not spend too much time thinking about leaders and leadership until I came to Germany. I grew up with plenty of role models — influential teachers, coaches and my parents — but I never thought of them as leaders. Today, the word is used so frequently that I fear it has lost its meaning.

My point here is that perspectives and perception change. I am fairly certain that while you admire my leadership abilities now, while you were on my team you wanted (and needed) something else from me. If you had told me then, I would have tried to give it to you. That might have been helpful, but it might have been a mistake; as a leader, as a person, as a human, you cannot be everything to everybody.

That is the heart of my leadership philosophy, which I would also call my personal philosophy: try to be the best person you can be. Maybe, someday, you will find professional success and fulfillment; hopefully you will find personal happiness and contentment. I expect that the people you meet, the relationships you build and the experiences you share will mean more to you along the way than your business successes and failures.

I am afraid I am not very good at finding the boundaries between personal and professional relationships. We spend so much time at work and with our colleagues, and close personal relationships certainly enhance this time. The potential pitfall of this is that I let what I know about people’s personal situations explain subpar performance — but I do not reward it. I strive to be democratic, which means that if someone does not live up to the expectations of their role I must be fair in my assessment of their performance. I have learned to live with the fact that I may not be liked by everyone.

I try — and I use that word purposely, because I am working at it — to let people be themselves, to let them find their greatness. I am an independent person and I lead the way I like to be led, trusting my team and giving them the space to be great. While this works well for some people, I have learned that people like to be led, they like to have clear boundaries and expectations, they often like to be told what to do.

Yet I believe in this freedom because I do not want to be surrounded by people who do what I tell them. I want to be surrounded by people who challenge my thinking and perspective. These people and their perspectives help me make stronger decisions. By giving my team the space and freedom from judgment to express their opinions, I aim to foster a spirit of open dialog that spurs great decision making.

I do not need, and I do not want, to make all of the decisions. I do need my team to be confident enough to make the decisions that are within the scope of their roles. I build this confidence by encouraging them to talk through their thought processes, solicit other opinions and explain the rationale behind their choices. Maybe I add something to strengthen their point-of-view or their next steps, or maybe I disagree with their recommendation. If I disagree, I provide context and rationale. Through the process, I hope they learn, build their confidence and feel valued.

I do not need, and I do not want, to take all of the credit — I need to give it, and I do this publicly or in written form. I do need to take responsibility, hold accountability and take the blame. If something or someone fails, it is my job to protect the team and educate them so they learn for the next time. I had a boss who lived by the mantra, “Praise in email, criticize in person.” I try to embody the spirit of this with my team (and my colleagues).

The health of your team is important. In the workplace, this typically shows up as mental and emotional health. The team can only be as great as its weakest link, because the other, stronger team members will feel compelled and driven to cover for their shortcomings. You, as the leader, can be the weakest link if you continually cover for others or allow your star players to cover for their weaker teammates. Let people fail, hopefully quickly, and inspire them to improve, or make changes.

Your star players need as much, if not more, attention as your weaker players. You are your own star player, and you need as much, if not more, attention as your star players. Cultivate and nurture all of your stars.

I am just learning, practicing, trying to be better. Half the time I am sure I am failing something or someone, but I cannot be someone other than who I am. I do not believe there is any trick to leadership beyond being the type of person you can be proud to look at in the mirror every morning.

I am grateful to you for your support and to your partner for encouraging me to write this down. I hope you challenge some of these views and we can have a debate on it in the future.

All the best,

Kerry